Leaving the House
With one baby: Make sure the diaper bag is stocked with a couple diapers, a snack, and maybe a bottle. Carry the kid to the car, strap her in, and drive away.
With two babies: Make sure the diaper bag is stocked with enough essentials for both of them. Snacks, sippy cup, extra clothes for one. Bottle, diapers, wipes, snacks, food for the other. Look everywhere for keys. Raegan has them. Put shoes and coat on one kid. She walks away. Put shoes and coat on other child. He crawls away. Realize Raegan has already taken her shoes and socks off. Put shoes and socks back on. Notice Rory is working on taking his shoes off. Put them back on. Gather supplies and Rory in your arms. Where is my phone?!? Raegan is in the other room watching a video on the phone. Try to take it. Starts screaming. Try to lure her out the door by promising a snack. She chooses the one that makes the biggest mess. Fine, whatever- let's just get out of here. You are now 10 minutes late because who would have thought it would take that long to get shoes on and walk out the door. Oh yea... it happens every day so basically you are an idiot. You carry the diaper bag and Rory while trying to get Raegan to walk somewhat faster than a snail's pace to the car. She stops to look at everything on the way. You just keep moving and start strapping Rory into the car seat while keeping an eye on Raegan slowly coming down the front steps naming everything she sees. "Look at that tree, Mommy!" Yes, great. I love that you are so verbal- please hurry up and get into the car. Once Rory is strapped in, you go and pick up Raegan to put her in the car. Cue tantrum. "I WANT TO WALK!" You do not give in, which just makes the situation worse. One of the first things a child learns is how to resist a car seat. They learn this at birth. They are experts. The reason kids take so long to learn to read or walk or talk or anything else is because they use all their brain cells figuring out the best way to maneuver their bodies so it is IMPOSSIBLE to strap them into a car seat. Anyway, by now Raegan's body is bent so far backward that it takes two hands to push her hips into the seat, leaving no hands to quickly bring the straps around her arms. Finally after about five minutes and repeated bribes and threats, she is strapped in and the two of you are exhausted. Rory witnessed the entire episode and is now crying because he hates being stationary in the car for more than 30 seconds. You give him the pacifier, give Raegan her snack (even though she does not deserve it) and get ready to drive off. However, you look at the time, see that you are now almost 30 minutes late and realize you are so late it is pointless to even go anymore.
Up soon, from one kids to two: mealtime and bedtime. Reliving this just made me too exhausted....
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